Tag Archives: family

Mom’s Jailbreak


Vitality Stories



Teri Case Vitality Stories


Mom’s Jailbreak


No one puts Bonnie in the corner

Recently, my eighty-two-year-old mom had pneumonia which caused her to lose strength in her legs. She could no longer stand long enough for the staff to transfer her from the bed to her wheelchair, from her wheelchair to a recliner, etc. Ultimately, her pneumonia worsened, and she had to be checked into the hospital. She gets pneumonia quite often, but because she had lost so much strength and mobility, the hospital recommended she be transferred to a local rehabilitation nursing center (non-hospital affiliated) to rebuild her strength rather than discharge her to return to her assisted living center–her home.

What we didn’t appreciate at the time, but do now, is how poorly the rehabilitation nursing home was staffed and managed. My mom was grossly ignored for several days and was not receiving any physical therapy to rebuild her strength. Instead they were performing mental tests and assessments all in an effort to make a case that she stay at their facility for the rest of her life. She was starting to decline under the care of the rehab facility. There was no rehabbing a-happenin’. She’d try to talk to the nurses, but they just spoke over her. She tried asking for her doctor, nothing would happen. Continue reading

The Best Way To Meet Your Parents

Vitality Stories

Leona Beck

The Best Way To Meet Your Parents

 

Sometimes it takes two

If you really want to get to know your parents, or a loved one, write their memoirs.

My mom, Bonnie, and I wrote her memoirs and the experience changed the way I think about her as a person. Before Memoirs (BM) she was my imperfect mother. But today, I think of her as a woman who was navigating her way through life, in a different era, making choices that resulted in pride, laughter, tears, or regret. I catch myself comparing my life at forty-four years old to what she was doing when she was forty-four, and every single time I think, whewI’m so glad I’m not in those shoes. (If I was, I would have eight kids with a ninth on the way, a troubled marriage, a pile of bills, and I’d be struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder.) I also learned to accept that her perception is her reality and this makes me more patient when our collective memories or experiences don’t add up.

What I’m trying to say is writing your parent’s memoirs might be one of the best gifts you’ll ever give to yourself. It will be a different gift for each person. In my case, it was forgiveness.

But where to start? How to start? There are many books available on how to write memoirs. I’m sure my process will continue to improve, but for those of you who are thinking about this worthwhile project, here are the steps I take with each of my clients. Continue reading