Category Archives: Bonnie’s Lessons

My Mom Said So

Vitality Stories

Jennifer Lawrence Oops

My Mom Said So

My mom read Tiger Drive last week. Now, for those of you who have been following me for a while, you know that my eighty-two year-old mom has had it in her bonnet that Tiger Drive’s a memoir rather than fiction. A lot of the confusion is my fault. After all, I did grow up on Tiger Drive in Carson City, Nevada (the book takes place in Corbett City, Nevada). And my family and novel share archetypal characters:

  • an abusive husband and father
  • an abused wife
  • an addict
  • a drug dealer with ties to a gang

Archetypes behave in anticipated ways. This is why a woman in Kansas who is abused by her husband “totally gets” the emotions and choices of an abused woman in California. An alcoholic in Nevada will understand an alcoholic in Texas. We humans act more alike than not.

My novel was causing enough angst for my mom that I didn’t tell her when Tiger Drive was published and available on the World Wide Web.

But like most moms, she found out anyway.

She called me and said her Amazon orders weren’t shipping, and she couldn’t figure out why (this happens quite often). I’m a bit of a custodian for her accounts, so I logged in to see what was happening, assuming her gift card balance was insufficient. I was right. But when I looked at her pending orders, expecting to see the usual suspects of powder coffee creamer, assorted candy, and potato chips, I knew I was in trouble. The pending order was the hardcover copy of Tiger Drive.

Continue reading →

My Overhauls: Then and Now

 

Vitality Stories

Teri Case Overhauls

My Overhauls: Then and Now

My Overhauls: Then

Author Cathey Graham Nickell and I recently shared the ways our mothers extended the life of our clothes when we were little. Cathey’s mom would add different colored strips of cloth to the bottom of her favorite jeans to lengthen them–Cathey liked them because she felt very “hippie.”

With my eight brothers and sisters, my mom repurposed our clothes both as hand-me-downs and hand-me-ups. My mom and I had many arguments about fashion once I started kindergarten. The first would be when she tried to get me to wear some used black overalls that were given to us for my younger brother. They were too big for him so my mom said I’d have to wear them until my brother grew into them. “Besides,” she had said, “you need clothes to start school.” But I was having none of her idea. I loved bright colors, skirts, and dresses already. I cried. My mom got creative. She cut out the inseams and sewed bright green polyester triangles to the front and back and voila–the overalls became an overalls dress and I loved my “overhauls”–as I liked to call ’em. I wore the dress all the time until I outgrew it, and my mom turned the dress back into overalls for my little brother. Continue reading →

Mom’s Jailbreak

Vitality Stories


 Teri Case Vitality Stories

Mom’s Jailbreak

No one puts Bonnie in the corner

Recently, my eighty-two-year-old mom had pneumonia which caused her to lose strength in her legs. She could no longer stand long enough for the staff to transfer her from the bed to her wheelchair, from her wheelchair to a recliner, etc. Ultimately, her pneumonia worsened, and she had to be checked into the hospital. She gets pneumonia quite often, but because she had lost so much strength and mobility, the hospital recommended she be transferred to a local rehabilitation nursing center (non-hospital affiliated) to rebuild her strength rather than discharge her to return to her assisted living center–her home.

What we didn’t appreciate at the time, but do now, is how poorly the rehabilitation nursing home was staffed and managed. My mom was grossly ignored for several days and was not receiving any physical therapy to rebuild her strength. Instead they were performing mental tests and assessments all in an effort to make a case that she stay at their facility for the rest of her life. She was starting to decline under the care of the rehab facility. There was no rehabbing a-happenin’. She’d try to talk to the nurses, but they just spoke over her. She tried asking for her doctor, nothing would happen. Continue reading →

7 year-old detective solves her first case in 1942

Vitality Stories

Vitality Stories Teri Case

Bonnie

7 Year-old Detective Solves Her First Case In 1942

~~~

I’m excited to continue sharing excerpts of Bonnie’s memoirs. As is my practice, I strove to capture her memories word-for-word out of respect for her voice, recollection, and perspective. Continue reading →

I’m glad Dad wasn’t fired for getting me an egg

Vitality Stories

Teri Case

Leona and Bonnie, April 1935

I’m Glad Dad Wasn’t Fired For Getting Me An Egg

I’m excited to begin sharing excerpts of Bonnie’s memoirs with each of you on a regular basis. As is my practice, I strove to capture her memories word-for-word out of respect for her voice, recollection, and perspective. I hope you enjoy her reflections and memories as much as I did. Continue reading →

The Best Way To Meet Your Parents

Vitality Stories

Leona Beck

The Best Way To Meet Your Parents

 

Sometimes it takes two

If you really want to get to know your parents, or a loved one, write their memoirs.

My mom, Bonnie, and I wrote her memoirs and the experience changed the way I think about her as a person. Before Memoirs (BM) she was my imperfect mother. But today, I think of her as a woman who was navigating her way through life, in a different era, making choices that resulted in pride, laughter, tears, or regret. I catch myself comparing my life at forty-four years old to what she was doing when she was forty-four, and every single time I think, whew, I’m so glad I’m not in those shoes. (If I was, I would have eight kids with a ninth on the way, a troubled marriage, a pile of bills, and I’d be struggling with undiagnosed bipolar disorder.) I also learned to accept that her perception is her reality and this makes me more patient when our collective memories or experiences don’t add up.

What I’m trying to say is writing your parent’s memoirs might be one of the best gifts you’ll ever give to yourself. It will be a different gift for each person. In my case, it was forgiveness.

But where to start? How to start? There are many books available on how to write memoirs. I’m sure my process will continue to improve, but for those of you who are thinking about this worthwhile project, here are the steps I take with each of my clients. Continue reading →

Vitality Stories Lesson #6

 

Vitality Stories

Lesson #6

IMG_1222

You‘re never too old for field trips, trikes, and milkshakes

~

Emotional eating and rusted trikes

I recently visited my mother in Carson City, Nevada. I hadn’t been there in almost two years, but after moving from the east coast and living on the road for the past four months, the road, actually a plane, landed me in Northern Nevada.

Thanks to technology, I’d been in touch with my mom on a regular basis, but now that I was going to be in town for 10 days, I had a laundry list of things to help her with in an effort to give my local siblings ‘serving on the ground’ temporary respite from meeting Mom’s needs. I’d be doing her shopping, cleaning, defrosting her dormitory freezer…you get the picture.

I was also in town to see friends and take my first headshots, but my mom was anxious to see me and I have the cell phone log to prove it. My visit would be a treat because I had promised Continue reading →

Vitality Stories Interview #2

Vitality Stories

Interview #2

Bonnie, 2nd from left, WCCO Radio, March of Dimes Telethon

Bonnie, 2nd from left, WCCO Radio, March of Dimes Telethon

Hello, My Name Is Bonnie

Why, What, How

Most of the senior citizens I’ve met yearn to be an example of success and happiness. They don’t relish the idea of anyone making their same mistakes. Often times, they don’t always know WHY they made a certain choice, but they almost always know WHAT they would do differently given the chance, and they always know HOW they want to be remembered. Continue reading →

Vitality Stories Lesson #2 – November 10, 2014

Vitality Stories Lesson #2 

Scan 15

 

 

Bonnie’s (bottom right) first job out of high school at a CBS radio station in Minneapolis.

 

 

Quality friendships count and the matter, rather than the method, is key.

Bonnie married three times, had nine children, owned several dogs, and often worked swing shift waitressing in casinos, and while she never had a minute to herself, she was heart-numbingly lonely. She wondered, Continue reading →

Vitality Stories Lesson #1 – October 9, 2014

 

Vitality Stories Lesson #1IMG_0013

As long as you can breathe, you can check a dream off your list.

I have acquired the hobby of ghost writing memoirs for the elderly who are afraid of being forgotten when they pass away. It’s true. You’d be shocked how many people fear they will disappear from loved ones memories despite several children, dozens of grandchildren, and a million great-grandchildren, of losing recognition for their life lessons, and credit for their successes, and finally, they want people to always remember who they loved, how they loved, what they regret, and the curve balls and lemons tossed their way. They want credit. They want validation. They want forgiveness. And I soak up their every word and never pass on an opportunity to help them share their story with their families. I do it for free because Continue reading →